Christmas miracles

by lelocke12

Today my father ate things he didn’t recognize with his hands

My parents took the bart solo and I’m in bed on Christmas at 9pm

It’s been the fastest year ever and I’m only more confused than I’ve ever been – last year I was sunburned and mildly depressed

I’ve had some fun with men from conflict zones – I’ve danced to top 40 and laughed about spooning with 19 year olds on their birthdays. I’ve had some serious fun these past few weeks.

I have more mixed feelings than ever about the job – overall life is good, wonderful but I still feel like I’m working to get to a place – I’m not settled yet – I’m not happy yet and I’m essentially doing an Ameri-corp placement

I wish in so many ways I had met my husband in college – I want my person… I want my thing to depend on and make decisions with. I want to plan adventures with them and make friends with them but this can’t be just anyone. This scares me so terribly. What am I doing to attract that kind of person? I’m trying my hardest to get out – be out . Work out .

I’ve been in one place six months and I’m antsy.

It all starts with too much time on Facebook – comparing others lives, travels and relationships. I want all that. I want to be loved and admired.

I have a few days to decide on New Years resolutions and New Years goals