The night before New Year’s Eve
It’s already been a year – unreal. Last year I was dancing in Cape Town… I haven’t even had a chance to wear that dress again. That’s still so badly where I want to be. I’m living and loving this amazing place but I still regret that I didn’t try harder to stay. I totally just got scared and caved. It wasn’t time – I knew it wasn’t time and I had nothing to come back to. What the fuck was I thinking. But here I am… Plan B which definitely isn’t bad.
This next year I won’t make resolutions. I want to make intentions. I intend to be more thoughtful and purposeful. I want to put my all into everything, all this I’ve chosen. Sure my job isn’t ideal but I need to put my all into it. If I want to be in a relationship – I need to put my all in that. (That is evidenced in this week that i could use some backup with the fam). If I want to be fit – I need to work out hard and with purpose. I need to slow down and put thought into what I do. This life is madness and I’m working hard to make it work – but I need to look for opportunities and take advantage of these I currently have.
I’ll go back south and reconnect one day. Just because I was scared and fucked it up once – it doesn’t mean I’ll do that twice.