Some things need to be remembered forever…and some not so much

Month: November, 2012


Within two hours at home I have heard the personal ramblings of a musical prodigy and seen a child on a leash. Incredible. 

I love Asheville. 

“Aw, Shucks!”

Katherine: “You should start dating someone you don’t really like. I’m about to!”

platonic relationships

It seems to be impossible to have a platonic relationship with a heterosexual male. 

Case #1: Paul sent a message from Belgium asking me out a month in advance. I had to put my big girl panties on and describe to him how much I loved him as a friend. One week. No response. Big girl panties ruin friendships. 

Case #2: Lauren and Scruffy have a backwards graduate/middle school relationship. There is a serious case of Big Boy Boxers needed. I feel unnaturally involved in the progress of this relationship. 

Case  #3: John asked me to make out through drunken text. Haven’t heard from him since. 

Case #4: The one friendship I would like to cultivate is ungodly draining. In the first time in my entire life I made a conscious decision to take a class because a boy who is in this class. That’s about as close to making a move as I have ever come. I am proud to say that I have cultivated some semblance of a friendship. However, I fear that it is based on my ownership of a vehicle. Gah! 


Animal Suit Monday

Yesterday I purchased a snake skin footie onesie. Today I will return a snake skin footie onesie. However nobody can doubt that I am a team player. Image

8th grade date

Last Wednesday I went on a date with an 8th grade boy named Chase. I bought him a tea at Starbucks (since he doesn’t drink coffee) and that is how I know it was a date. He showed up with his Dad and his catholic school uniform ready to interview me on what its like to be an expert international traveler. Homie wants to be an archaeologist and has never left the continental United States. I may have found the child I want to one day have. How do I keep him?

brown boys

I’m cut off of drunk dials. I left a voice mail last night for Samantha’s old office which happens to be at our alma mater. The only thing I know for sure is that the voice mail involved discussion of brown boys. I was also calling from the kitchen floor. oooopsie 

and the worst kisser award goes to….Lebanon!!

Red riding in da Hood!!

Halloween 2012. 

We had to stop counting trick or treat-ers at 500. Lauren and I got home from class at 5:30 and the doorbell began to ring moments later. Katherine later joined as an extremely enthusiastic Beetle-juice  The line of kids wrapped around the porch. We ran out of $100 worth of candy by 8:30. At this point we made margaritas and patrolled the neighborhood for stragglers. Katherine even got a number (disguised as you have the best house decor). Which they did…

There were several memorable and quotable kiddos. 

“What do you say to get candy” “CANDY!”

“Who are you?” “I’m a boy!!”

There was even a real live rat and a werewolf with a pierced tongue.Imagee.

The was all emphasized by Katherine getting progressively gangster throughout the evening. I knew I needed to leave when I heard her say, “no mo candy fo you!” She also told a couple kids that they would get shit candy because they didn’t dress up. Lauren was worried that our house was going to get toilet papered by the kids we didn’t give candy too. But come on! Your asthmatic child in a stroller whom you left at home probably wont eat the candy anyway!

Good news is I think we really only offended one kid with two backpacks who Katherine accused of being a bank robber.