Some things need to be remembered forever…and some not so much

Month: March, 2013


It’s scary because everything fell into place so nicely.

After three months I finally had the balls to tell him I really like him. We were walking back to the house and we had the dtr. DTR is a well known acronym used in Christian culture to “define the relationship”. He said, “I don’t know what this is but I don’t want it to stop. It’s really hard because I don’t know where you’ll be in three months.”

He will never be the boy that Sits down and asks me to be his girlfriend. But that’s not what I want right now. If it walks and talks like a relationship it is one. He’s my person and i trust him. He met my best friend and bought us a fancy dinner. I’m going to meet his sister when she comes into town in a few weeks. He brings flowers every weekend, dances in the kitchen, fixes the sink without being asked and blows me kisses. i have never ever felt so cared for. I know how he wants to raise his large family and what he wants out of life. I’m still really scared about the future but atleast that means whatever this is… its genuine.

Part of our talk revolved the process of decision making. I have a pretty strong sense of intuition. All of my major decisions I kinda knew would happen when I was presented the opportunity. I still agonize and evaluate everything but whenever I look back it’s pretty easy to tell that I already knew what was going to happen. UNCW I walked on that campus and it felt right. I pulled out that packet from South Africa and it felt right. Looked up the grad school website and it felt right. Our first date felt really right. He totally lives in the moment and makes split second decisions and hopes they turn out for the best. He took this job in NC simply because it was the best package he was offered and didn’t think anymore about it. Everything has come pretty simply to both of us and it seems like we are where we need to be. Oftentimes I feel like I need to step back and just be. Just be. Why can’t I just be right now and not worry about what job I’m gonna get.

I told him that i feel bad that i don’t know where I’m going to be. He responded with…but you are worried for many reasons. I’m only worried for one.

I love my life at this moment, right now. I’m so happy and so loved. Things work out, it might be rough for a while but it will be awhile before that happens. Right now I’m content to stress about school because this is the last month that I will ever have to stress about doing homework. Ever.

On that note I’m done procrastinating but I’m scared because I think I love this boy. Ahhhhhhhh craaapppp

New kind of stress

I have discovered a new kind of stress. A kind that I cannot sleep though like normal. A kind that I know is unjustified. A kind that makes me over analyze every part of my life.

All caused by a stupid boy who doesn’t call when he says he will.

What is that bull shit.


Last night nothing particularly extraordinary happened. That’s probably why we drank so much. I fought the spins for hours. During a lost battle I go out in the hallway to find my roommate just wandering in the pitch black dark kitchen. Lights on created both panic and awareness as she had no clue where she was. None.

If I have learned anything through my weekend festivities, I have learned that not ever night can be ‘epic’. This in the hope that rarely ever will you drink half a jar of blueberry moonshine. Too high of expectations leads to disappointment and brutally pointless hangovers.

Spring 2013 will always be the age of the snapchat


Ericks bday

Well, although he didn’t remember sleeping all night by the toilet erick reaped the benefits of the post vomit no hangover. Man friend was a saint and watched him all night even though he was sick too. I really have found the nicest boy. I’m just really afraid I won’t be able to keep him.

Also, the cast of jack ass was at the 80’s bar with us? What? They played Aladdin and b spears. New fave place.

This coming weekend will be the first in over two months I haven’t spent with the new man friend. I don’t know whether to freak out with the realization of how dependent I have become so quickly or to love the liberating feeling that I might actually get shit done this weekend.


One of the many reasons I love the south

Last night as I was leaving the library in my post-gym/study nasty state a young man held the door open for me. He went out of his way to do it since he was quite a bit ahead. I picked up my pace a bit and thanked him. He noticed my stride and said “don’t rush, don’t rush, take your time.” This took me so off guard that I simply giggled at this 18 year old gentlemen and his friend. Mamma done raised you right boy.


The Marshall house
Aladdin – I can show you the world
Farmers market and the man with the cat on his shoulders
Swing dancing attempts
Thai food and naps
Tiny showers
Three musketeers
Seafood broil
NPR and pandora sing a longs
Lying to family
4 nights yet undefined


The saga of sterling

My roommate is now dating or lets say going on dates the boy who writes the explicit poetry… She has received a couple poems and she has only been out with him once. He was in Peru with his gf all week and still sending her pics and messages…

I bet her penis shaped flowers she will receive a Penni pick before Friday.