Mixed feelings

I have so many mixed feelings a out this job – I really can’t decide if I hate it. I guess that means I don’t hate it . But I also know I don’t want to settle in life. This time last year I was just getting to Cape Town – I read through my journal. I learned so so much – I know I’m still learning but I don’t feel engaged and I don’t feel utilized. I don’t feel challenged or really appreciated.

I feel like I’m not as exciting anymore – I love that I can work out and go to yoga and have sustainable friendships and attend house parties… But I need something else. I was so sure this time last year but I couldn’t figure it out.

What if life is that way – I know what I want and I’m sure of it but maybe it’s not possible?

Last weekend was incredible. House party in tiburon mansion. Second best was the only single one / funny and sore and so exhausted afterwards. That’s exactly why I moved to California. (I think)